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My investigation into the Kennedy
assassination
I'm always on the
lookout for interesting things to read. Right now: the Warren
Commission Report. I didn't expect to get far into it before
being bored out of my mind, but it's actually damn fascinating.
I've always believed that Oswald acted alone and that the
conspiracy theories were all a bit far-fetched. After watching
the movie J.F.K. - which is an amazing and entertaining film -
after reading scores of articles over the past ten years or so;
and now after reading 200 pages of the Warren Commission
Report...
Monday - September 18, 2006
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Huh? Choose-your-own-meaning from this CNN.com
caption
Forget the debate
over stem-cells for a sec to consider this photo caption from
CNN.com, which has more possible meanings than there are views
on stem-cell research.
Wednesday - July 19, 2006
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He's entertaining
and he's beginning to grow on me. This weekend our national
panda, Tai Shan, turns one. In addition to the grand party that
his parents and the other animals are likely to throw for him,
the zoo will be pulling out their checkbook and sending another
million dollars to China so that we can keep the fella around
another year. More and more, as I see news footage, newspaper
articles, and magazine photos of the little guy, I convinced
it's money well spent.
Friday - July 07, 2006
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I use Darwin to justify The Da Vinci Code AND
reaffirm Christianity! Whoa.
I just don't get the
Catholic church's stink over The Da Vinci Code. Obviously, I
understand why it is upset - the story implies Jesus didn't die
on the cross and fathered children. But if that is all the
thought we're willing to give the matter, we're really
overlooking the Darwinian benefit the film and the book provide
the religion - a means to weed out the
weak.
Saturday - May 20, 2006
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The epic story of my alarm clock
I glanced over at my
alarm clock, a phone/radio/alarm clock combo that had long lost
its phone handset; a clock that I'd had since I was 10 years
old; a clock that was supposed to wake me about 6:30 that
morning so that I could get to my 8 A.M. final exam; a clock
that now read 10-something A.M.; a clock that still had the
alarm light dot illuminated, indicating that the alarm was in
fact set to go off. This is the story of a life-long hate-love
relationship with that appliance.
Saturday - January 28, 2006
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The Denver Broncos are the greatest team on
God's green earth
It all began in
1983. My family had relocated to Colorado Springs. I had been
more of a baseball fan than a follower of the NFL. At the time,
we had no home baseball team to pull for and I couldn't watch
the Orioles on TV in that market. Fortunately, there was
football and this new quarterback that everyone either loved or
hated; John Elway. So I got into watching and Denver became my
team. Little did I know that it would be a lifelong commitment
that would endure some of the lowest low points of any
franchise outside of Buffalo, New York.
Tuesday - January 17, 2006
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Adapting Paris Hilton for the big
screen
I have decided to
do something unique and revolutionary, the likes of which have
not been seen on the internet since the remixes of
Star Wars kid
or in Hollywood since Adaptation. I am going to set out to write a screenplay based
on the works of Paris Hilton's cellphone. I am going to comb
through every photo of drunken B-list celebrities and every
misspelled, poorly punctuated note to create a historically
accurate epic masterpiece. For the sake of history, I am going
to post every step of the process right
here.
Tuesday - December 27, 2005
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I have SPAM. Lots
of it. I've had my email address for five years now and have
used it everywhere. I now get between 50 and 100 spam messages
a day. So, in what is destined to become a recurring feature
here, I've decided to deal with my thousands of SPAM emails in
a proactive way. I've decided to write back.
Monday - December 12, 2005
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I can't take it
anymore! For weeks now, everyone has been talking here about
the damn baby panda at the National Zoo. It has garnered
nationwide attention. A baby panda has been the source of years
worth of anticipation here in the capitol, paralleled only by
the return of Major League Baseball to the
city.
Thursday - December 08, 2005
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Whatever it is, I love it and eBay has
it
eBay is on to
something with its new itcampaign. It works so well
becauseit
is everything we always wanted or longed
for - maybe something we'd forgotten about. It is the tech gadget we've been drooling over.
It is the designer dress we could never afford.
It is the latest toy, or maybe even a long-lost toy
from childhood. It is more than something literal; just a colorful "i"
and "t". It is an intangible, vague thing to everyone, yet
clear and precise to us as individuals. Finding and creating a
metaphor for that intangible, tangible, vague,
precisething is wherein lies the campaign's
genius.
Friday - November 18, 2005
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The producers of
"The West Wing" must have been pretty impressed with their idea
to stage a political debate between the two fictional
presidential candidates on live television Sunday. It was a
through-the-looking-glass experience where NBC ran a live
debate between two fictional characters, moderated by real-life
reporter Forrest Sawyer.
Tuesday - November 08, 2005
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Michael Jordan Panders for Relevance
It must be
obvious to everyone, by now, that Michael Jordan has difficulty
letting go of his past glory. Now he's returned with a new
book, a new clothing line for women and appearances on 60
minutes and Oprah to announce to the world that he wants his
privacy. He has every right to maintain the Jordan brand and
Jordan legacy as he sees fit. One thing he cannot expect is for
us to believe, or buy, what he's selling.
Wednesday - October 26, 2005
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DC City Council to the Rescue! (burp)
You can't make it
through a day in DC without happy hour. Someone (a lawyer no
less) learned that DC's legal limit is .01 and that DC cops
could haul you in on mere suspicion. Thank goodness for the DC
City Council!
Tuesday - October 18, 2005
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FedEx: Steely Dan is a dildo, not a band
 Kudos to the ad agency who
pulled one over on the corporate big-wigs at FedEx by making a
dildo reference in a national TV ad.
Apparently, unbeknownst to any of the
squares up in FedEx corporate, Steely Dan, the band, named
themselves after a steam-powered dildo described in the William
Burroughs book Naked Lunch....
Thursday - October 06, 2005
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 Tom Delay with outer
shell removed, revealing mechanical conservative components.
Notice: no heart or other compassionate (liberal)
organs.
Wednesday - September 28, 2005
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Hope for 'Generation Fat': NASCAR, Obesity as
the norm and movies at the dentist
I've
often wondered of the fate my generation's children,
"Generation Fat". They are the ones who are constantly attached
to a distraction device. Whether that device is a cellphone,
DVD player, Gameboy, iPod; you will rarely find a parent of my
generation being a parent in the traditional sense with such
Parental Assistance Devices (PADs) on the
market.
Tuesday - September 13, 2005
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Let me
preface this entry by saying that I don't like the Bush
administration... But no matter where one stands politically, I
just can't believe the irrational ferver that has become of our
national political discourse... To aggressively question
everything is essential. To demand answers now, is
unreasonable... In a month, New Orleans will still be
destroyed, the total picture will become clearer, and there
will be plenty blame to go around and heads to
roll.
Friday - September 09, 2005
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Katrina: Mistakes We're Making
Ben Franklin or someone
or other said something to the effect of, "stupidity is to do
the same thing over and over and expect a different result." It
is probably a mistake for me to loosely throw around mangled,
improperly attributed quotes; but hey, I'm human and this is
the blogosphere. But it pales in comparison to the mistakes I
see happening in our country today in the midst of tragedies
here and abroad.
Wednesday - September 07, 2005
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As much
as I resent the current administration, I was glad to see the
president went down there and surveyed the damage and embraced
the people.
...The family plots have
been washed away, and unlike the casualties of 9/11, it is not
only logistically difficult to have a service for families,
there is just no place to put bodies, at least no place anyone
expected to be their final resting place.
Saturday - September 03, 2005
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